When traveling through Asia gets tiring, you can always get a good laugh by opening a menu and feasting your eyes upon the poorly-translated offerings. China has provided its share of chuckles. And then, one fateful night in Shanghai, we walked into a sketchy restaurant just off the Bund.

With a table full of boisterous, smoking diners next to us, we came upon the most deliciously-phrased menu items ever. Sink your teeth into these (click to see the larger images).

That’s right: Phoenix Goose Anti Majorline-Domination Dry Pot Monsters! (What do you start with to get that result from Google Translate?)

Because of her Bund, Karen didn’t join us in the Bund. Back at the hotel, when I told her about the PGAM-DDPM, she immediately asked, “What did it taste like?” Truth be told, it didn’t occur to me to order it. With just a couple weeks left before our summer break, I’ve been more concerned with choosing edible foods than hilarious foods. It would be nice to go home with a happy stomach.

Next time I see Phoenix Goose Anti Majorline-Domination Dry Pot Monsters on a menu, I will order it. As long as I have a Tsingtao handy to wash it down.