How to Lose 18 Pounds in 60 Days!

Announcing my patented, exclusive, guaranteed Next Stop: World Diet! You too can lose inches from your waistline and get rid of your butt completely. Muscle tone? Gyms? Who needs ’em?!

Just follow this simple plan:

  • 4 days of stomach illness with no food
  • 30 days with little appetite
  • 24 days without booze
  • 48 days of being bored by lack of variety on menus
  • 6 days hard farm work in 100 degree heat
  • 13 days hiking, 6 days at altitude
  • 3 days rafting and kayaking

Don’t delay- call today! Operators are standing by!

WARNING: Pounds may return if you visit Hong Kong, Penang, or anywhere that serves Tibetan bread.

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6 Responses to How to Lose 18 Pounds in 60 Days!

  1. Susan says:

    I’ve got the secret of “how to gain 18 pounds in 60 days”. (hint: it has something to do with fast food, margaritas, krispie kremes, and good sanitation!)

    Your plan doesn’t sound too fun. I’m glad that you are home & safe.

  2. Maria says:

    I thought you’d go with the tried and true Peace Corps method: dysentery!

  3. scott schroeder says:

    My wife is a counselor at Jenny Craig I’ll have her recommend this program to her clients. LOL Starting a program of only drinking swamp water and potato salad that’s been sitting in the sun for a day or two might work too.

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